1: Idk how.  I have red hair and green eyes.  Tall, awkward, lanky.  That is all you need to know.

2: When I was 12, I went to England with my parents.  Upon arrival, I was so hyped up on jet lag that I somersaulted across the bed, stood up, hit a wall with my face, and passed out cold.

3: I wish every single day that this person I can never, ever be with (for several legal circumstances) will come ask me out on a date.  It never happens, but it never does, does it?

4: I am horribly insecure about how emotional I am.  So sometimes I’m too sarcastic and aggressive.

5: Everything about me is weird so Idk what to say.  I’m afraid of butterflies, love learning about taxidermy, do falconry in my free time, and write shitty poetry.  I’m hopeless, right?  GEEZ.

6: Turn off: Elitist attitudes or trying to “fix” me.  You’d be amazed (or maybe not) about how many of these pop up in my life.

7: Turn on: If you’re down for my bad ideas, it’s too late.

8: I went to go see Bayside right before I came to college.  They played “Landing Feet First.”  Some dude proposed to this girl right then and there and it was all magical but all I could think about was “When the fuck will The Matches come out so I can get their autograph?”

9: My first boyfriend and I would go hang out at the park in our shitty town.  He’d come pick me up in his car and knock on the door because he didn’t have a cell phone yet.  Thinking about that always makes me smile.

10: Every night before I go to bed, I just think about how I wish Juice would quit meowing and how someone ought to come stay the night so I could make them breakfast in the morning.

11: Every person I’m in a long term relationship starts out telling me to fuck off.  Then they decide I’m sort of cute and charming.  Then they love me.  Then I hate them.  It happens every single time.

revolutionarydecadence:

Pukowski sucks; Vonnegut is awesome. So come down to NC and let’s cuddle and read Breakfast of Champions.

Okay.

(via emergentcomplexity)

(via sentimental-tunes)

(via ieroll-that-way)

(via samfredmacup)

(via jordenalexanderanderson)

racismschool:

rufflebutts:

blameaspartame:

what he means is he wants to put his face next to the buttcheeks

and scream at the ass

just screaming

screaming at the highest volume possible

at that ass

#screaming into the assbyss

I hate every last one of ya’ll.